Baby sleeps face down! Now what?

Hi Tracy,

We FINALLY got rid of the swaddle. Took two nights of lots of tears but it happened and has been very positive since then. But now our new problem is that Sam (5.5 months) will roll back to belly but not belly to Back. When he flips in the night, he hasn’t figured out how to get back to his back. Sometimes he just cries so we flip him over. But if he’s sleepy and not very energetic, he will sleep with his face down into the mattress - yikes!! How can we handle this??

Abby

Hi Abby

Have you heard of the Newton baby mattress? newtonbaby.com It is completely breathable so sleeping face down should be much less of a concern.  It is also completely washable. Chemical free in every respect and firm and comfortable.  This could go a long way to help you worry much less about his development. 

You can also do tummy time together on the floor. Get on the floor with him to encourage him and play rolling games.  You can also put him on his tummy under a play gym so he will have to roll over to play with the toys hanging from the bar. 

When he’s on the mattress, instead of flipping him, assist his rolling with a gentle push on his hips, cross his legs, re-position his arm, etc.  So essentially assisting,  not rescuing. This is a normal process, just like working through the swaddle transition. 

If you need more quick tips than this, go to http://getquietnights.com/schedule-a-consultation/ to arrange a call with me.

Tracy Spackman 602-524-7610

Certified Gentle Sleep Coach

Gentle Sleep Coaching - Teaching you how to get your kids to sleep.

www.GetQuietNights.com

www.Facebook.com/QuietNights

www.Facebook.com/groups/SleepSistersGetQuietNights.com

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Are you caught in the Crazy Cortisol Cycle?

Cortisol is the hormone that your body produces when it gets stressed, or over tired.  When you run out of energy, your body produces extra cortisol to put fuel in your blood to help you cope. Learn more about Cortisol Here. 

What if your baby is teething and is in pain when it's time for his nap? You can try to get him to go to sleep but the pain keeps him awake and he gets a cortisol rush.  Comfort him, pay attention to him and let the nap attempt go.  You can try again in an hour, maybe less.  Let's say this happens again, with the next nap attempt he is still teething painfully. And the next nap attempt and the next nap attempt.  Now it's bedtime and he has had terrible day sleep.  He has lots of extra cortisol in his system that makes it extra hard to fall asleep at bedtime.  AND he frequently wakes up all night from teething pain and cortisol from all those missed naps.  You may ask yourself, "What am I doing wrong?"  

The answer is, If you are asking yourself this question, you are probably doing it pretty right.  You care!  You are making every effort to figure your baby out.  This is coping time. Attention is what your baby needs.  YOU are the answer.  All that holding, night responding, nap attempting is right.  

My friend Yaffi Lvova (of Baby Bloom Nutrition) was talking to me about about this and I love how she put this so I'm just going to quote her.

"Getting caught in the cortisol cycle and getting a terrible night when the baby is teething or accomplishing a big milestone is part of motherhood and it doesn't mean that I did anything wrong, so to speak. We, as mothers, tend to internalize everything, leading to some serious guilt over things that we often have no control over. I can't control the amount of teeth coming in or how quickly they come in any more than I can control the weather pattern. There are some difficult nights. And then they grow up."

She is so right! Anytime things don't run smoothly, we take the blame as mothers.  We can control our attitudes and actions but children have their own bodies and rates of developments.   Every baby is unique.  Some babies teethe easy and some babies teethe very painfully.  Our ability as mothers doesn't change this.  What we can do is try to meet the needs of our babies, be there for our babies, and just do our best. It is enough.

Milestones and growing is a part of life.  Did you know that during many of the early milestones, the brain circumference actually jumps in size?  That has got to be uncomfortable!  What can mom's do to help?  Hold, cuddle, respond, repeat.  Don't beat yourself up.  Don't blame yourself.  Everyday is a new day to try to help your child be the best they can be.

Soon they will be teenagers and I will have some fresh insights to share.

Tracy Spackman
www.GetQuietNights.com

Need a pep talk?

I have seen crazy difficult sleep situations many times before. You just don’t know how good it can get until you take the sleep crutches out of the bedtime.

You can have so many other good things going for you once you look at the daytime pieces of sleep environment, nap timing, bedtime routines and timing if bedtime. Alert temperament traits make it look impossible but it isn’t.

One time, a family thought they had a basket full of medical issues to deal with and amazingly, once we dealt with the sleep deprivation, the bedtime crutches and parental consistency, ALL the other issues melted away. It ended up all stemming from lack of sleep skills and sleep deprivation.

Be sure to start your gentle sleep plan on a good nap day, prepare for the protests that will come with the change, stay with her and offer her positive consistency in your responding and even if it was a medical issue, if you choose to do the middle night responding too, it’s often an appropriate response for a medical issue because you are right there the whole time, offer comfort and support.

Things WILL improve to the point that an additional issue will become more obvious.

Work with me to have the confidence to get healthy results.
www.GetQuietNights.com

Is Tracy worth the money to hire for your sleep coach?

May 7^th, 2017  5:21pm  (posted on https://www.facebook.com/groups/sleepsistersgetquietnights/)

Adrianna McCabe:  Looking for some feedback for those who have used Tracy. We are really thinking about it, but I feel like our situation is hopeless.  8 Month old. Wakes up every 20-40 minutes. Someone give me hope before my husband and I get divorced. (JK, but seriously 20 wakeups is killing us!!!!!)

Evan Duhy Tran:  We went through this with my first son. I don't have any advice but I know what you are feeling. He's 2.5 and still a challenge with sleep but you will sleep again! Hang in there! And it will drive you to the brink of divorce and insanity. Just know you will get through it!

Brittney 'Selvidge' Lee: Tracy helped my VERY ALERT baby sleep 11 hours straight without waking in just a few weeks. It was anti-cry it out- it was actually more responsive than I was being. She was up 3-4 times a night (every couple hours) on a bad night. It was an investment in money and time, and a couple long weeks while we worked the plan...but I would do it again in a heartbeat.

Adrianna McCabe: I know there will be crying. But you felt comfortable the whole time?

Brittney 'Selvidge' Lee: A few moments of "what the crap do I do?" But I paid for the communication with Tracey- emails and texts- so I had a lifeline.  For the most part, I felt very comfortable. I mean, it was different from what I was doing, so me and baby were a bit of "why are we doing something different?!" But it worked and I didn't feel like I was hurting or abandoning her at all.

Adrianna McCabe: How much crying happened on the worst night? We did the SLS and there was 2-3 hours of crying some nights but we were here. I think it made everything worse but I couldn't leave him.

Brittney 'Selvidge' Lee:  The worst night of the coaching was like 1.5 hours to fall asleep initially. And I was right by her side the whole time.

Kristi Arnoldi:   She changed my very alert sons sleeping habits. He was up all night and I had to sleep on the floor in his room. Totally worth it to have your sanity back.

Amy Anthony Graham: She changed our lives!! Do it! At 7 months we were still up repeatedly every night and were exhausted. I can't remember how long it took but it wasn't long before we were down to one dream feed then sleeping through the night.

Niki Runion: Hire Tracy!! Our son is 7 months and super alert. We were having multiple, very alert wake ups nightly and in desperation I hired Tracy one Monday or Tuesday. By the following week I could see a noticeable change in all of us (we were sleeping better). We are still going through the motions to work out the last few dreamfeeds. Without Tracy I would have lost my mind. Sleep is invaluable and this has been the best investment so far! I was so tired I couldn't even read the books to try and do it on my own.

Stephanie Johnston Morris: My 16 month old was still waking 20 times a night and it took hours to get her to sleep with crutches. I felt like I had tried everything. Tracy was able to take all the tools I already had and organize them so I knew exactly how to respond in every situation. We saw almost immediate results. We still struggle with early waking, but I can handle it because I've had enough sleep.

Taylor Walker: SO worth it! I can totally relate to feeling hopeless and the sleep deprivation affecting everyone in the house! But I'm telling you she was a life saver and game changer for us. The first steps you are in the room and can touch, use words, and pick up to calm so that really helped me feel comfortable with the crying. (First night was 45 mins). I told her my goals (sleeps in crib all night with no feedings) and she gave me the tools to make that happen in a way that I felt was gentle and not cold turkey to my baby. There was major improvement just in a couple days! We actually hired her a couple years ago for my first son and again this year for our second son because I knew the money was worth it and it works. (I remembered most of the "coaching" etc but they were different ages at the time training started so I felt much more comfortable having Tracy give me a custom plan based on this baby's needs and to be able to reach out to her for support.) We have Tracy to thank for everyone under our roof sleeping through the night! Good luck mama!

Adrianna McCabe: Thanks everyone for responding. It is 10 and we are on wake up #8. (Idk why i still keep track) 😩  I always try to track it because I want to know if it's getting better. ...well it's not 😂😩

Kylie Buday: Tracy is worth it! There will be some tears, but you'll feel like you are supporting your child and you will learn a ton. She'll likely find things that you hadn't even considered. She's the 2nd consultant we hired and she was worth every penny (and I had to pay a lot due to the Canadian exchange rate). I also would not do CIO.

Inzer Bug: Worth every penny! When I first met her at a breastfeeding group, I thought it was crazy that people paid as much as they did for her services. Then at 6 months and little sleep, I reluctantly purchased a plan and it changed our lives. Would do it again in a heartbeat.

Jaclyn Luciano: I haven't read the previous comments but HIRE TRACY! lol. She is amazing and I joked about her saving our marriage too!! She is so worth it. We started around 7 months and daughter is now 17 months and still sleeps through the night bc of the sleep skills she learned through Tracy Spackman's method/sleep plan. And I love that even through teething, regressions and sickness, we can always get right back on track because of the tools Tracy gave us! My daughter woke up every 30-45 minutes at night, SUPER alert, we travel a lot, etc. We needed Tracy, I was losing my mind and became depressed. I tried so many things on my own and none of them worked-even hired another sleep consultant and that didn't work. Hiring Tracy was the only thing that did and seriously, I'd pay her again, in a heartbeat! Hang in there mama and yes, hire Tracy! Haha!

Jaclyn Luciano: Sorry, one last comment, haha! Call her for a 15 minute free consultation to just get a feel for her. Doesn't hurt. It's not hopeless, I felt the same, but there is hope!

Sarah Hendricks: Call her! ☺️ Sleep is so important and this is a great age for your baby to develop great sleep habits!

Savanna Duff Kiser: I'm so sorry you're struggling so much. To be honest, I feel like Tracy has lots of experience with many different kinds of babies. I know her approach to sleep coaching was more based on what I was comfortable with as well as my child's temperament. I think she could really help you out. A phone consult never hurts. Good luck to you guys. Hang in there. I know that has got to be so hard. And another thing, she will teach you things that the books cannot. I swear, she had so many helpful tips which pushed our success over the edge.

Shraddha Tefft: Another thing to consider (after your consult) - she offers workshops every now and then. I couldn't afford to take the plunge for a full-on sleep plan with her, but I got a lot of good ideas to try out independently. My daughter was 9 months at the time and she was STTN at around 12 months.

Adrianna McCabe: I wish I was local!

Talia Brinkman: My husband says it's the best money we have ever spent. Totally worth it!

Adrianna McCabe: Which package did you go with ?

Talia Brinkman: We did the highest package with the most support. I don't regret it at all! Being able to reach out to Tracy each day to debrief on how the prior day went helped us course correct as we went. It also made me confident that I was "doing it right."

Tracy Spackman: Most people get the premium package. The biggest one is for lots of extra attention. Talia could text me anytime for 6 months with her executive package!

Jessica: Tracy, how would I setup a consult with you?

Tracy Spackman: Call me right now. Lol 602-524-7610

3 year old stops sleeping well, what is going on?

At three years old, children are starting to understand even more complex concepts like:

• relationships, 

• relationships ending, 

• adding relationships, 

• death, 

• and separation. 

So separation anxiety peaks again around three years old. Sometimes you have to reestablish your secure base. Talk about the permanence of your relationship. Talk about how you will always be his mom, even when you're sleeping, or at the store, or out in the evening with dad. 

If there has been a death in the family, talk about how grandma is still grandma even up in heaven. Maybe she is watching you, and you can think about her and she thinks about you.

 If your child gets upset when dad goes to work, talk about how dad is still your dad even when he is at work. Talk about how we think about dad and can talk about dad and can call dad on the telephone just like he can think about you and call you on the telephone. Because he is still your dad even when you can't see him. 

For bedtime, sometimes extra attention is needed and a longer wind down period is necessary. Start earlier to get a bedtime snack and spend more time in the tub and more time potty practicing and teeth brushing independence and spend more time talking about your day.

Continue to follow the tired signs to make sure you are catching the sleep window. This is just as important now as it is for a young baby.

For bedtime, maybe you need to stay for a while.

For early wake ups, go into the room right away and stay with them until the wake up light comes on. 

You can go through the steps of your gentle sleep plan again just for the early rising if that is the only problem. Lots of attention for the first three days and then do less and less and less over the course of two weeks. This will help establish a re-connection and increase security.

A child who feels secure sleeps much better.


For help with your gentle sleep plan, contact me.
Tracy Spackman
www.GetQuietNights.com

Light or no Light? Guidelines or Rules?

My suggestions for sleep are all guidelines and not rules. The kids I work with are on the very alert side the things I know are very helpful.

In the case of night light vs no night light;  Night lights are best to use on toddlers that are expressing a fear of the dark. For children under two years old, it's best to have it as dark as you can possibly get it. The darkness helps the body to regulate its natural circadian rhythm's. The light tricks the body into thinking that it's dawn and in the early morning hours are when there is more REM sleep. In the REM sleep are shorter sleep cycles and therefore more frequent waking when you don't have great sleep skills. Nevertheless, I have heard of the night light helping in a few cases so it's not to be completely discounted.  Every child is different and once you try the things that make sense to you and you feel good about first, then thinking outside the norm is a great idea.

 

Here are some examples of guidelines, not rules; 

I would try no light before I would try light.   I would try earlier bedtime before I would try later. I would try a 2222 schedule before I would try 234 on a child under 9 months. I would try 2 naps until 15-18 months before I would try 1 nap at 12 months. 

This is because the science supports those things and I have seen them work the most often.  But, every one is unique and we have the pleasure of figuring out our baby's each individual sleep puzzle. It does seem like a puzzle. Right? Lol.

2 Months and Bad Habits already?

Dear Tracy Spackman,

I have every intention of hiring you as soon as my 2 month old is old enough to benefit from sleep training bc my world crumbles when I don't get good sleep BUT I want to make sure I am on the right track now so I don't have to undo any bad habits or play catch up when it's time to sleep train! He is in a rock n play by our bed and wakes up once a night to eat. He does well with this for now but of course the goal is sleeping thru the night in his crib...we try to nap in the crib during the day swaddled but the longest he's gone in there for me is 30 mins. Am I doing or not doing anything that will mess me up come sleep training time?? I want to be your best/easiest client when the time comes ;)

Thanks so much!!

Dear 2 month old Mom, 

You should do what helps you respond quickly and get the best sleep yourself. Keeping the baby in your room usually  helps you respond faster which usually gets you both back to sleep faster. 

Napping in the crib is great unless holding or rocking naps gets you bigger naps. If 30 min is all you get regardless of where he naps, then the crib is fine. Try 60-90 minutes of wake time between naps and 45+ minute naps are great but if that just doesn't happen, done worry about it. You just need more naps. 

Everything changes in the 4th months so even if he was a good sleeper before that time, it actually has absolutely no bearing on whether he will be a good sleeper after 4 months. So don't worry about bad habits. It's fine to try putting your baby to bed drowsy but awake, and in the crib, but if those things are a battle, he is telling you he needs more help. More co-regulation to help him cope with out big world. 

I'm looking forward to working with you.

Tracy Spackman

www.GetQuietNights.com