Can you spoil your baby?

It used to be believed that you were teaching a baby to cry more if you picked them up when they cried, thinking that that baby will learn to cry to get attention. The opposite has been proven to be true. When you pick up a crying child, you are helping them to regulate (co-regulation) and they will, as a result, be more resilient, especially when this attention is given in the first year.

When a toddler, ages 1.5, 2, 3 (or sometimes older too), has a meltdown and is crying, it is often related to autonomy and security. Their idea of independence and having a lack of physical ability to accomplish what they are imagining themselves doing. They need your positive attention, picking them up, responding with love and patience, please don't feel threatened. It's not about you.

Dr. Jean-Victor Wittenberg,(child psychiatrist and Head of the Infant Psychiatry Program at the Hospital for Sick Children in Toronto and Co-Chair of Infant Mental Health Promotion (IMHP) which provides teaching for front-line professionals and develops advocacy initiatives on behalf of infant mental health), recently stated that you don't need to squelch that behavior. When they are having a meltdown, It's about them and their development and personal frustration and insecurities. By helping them regulate, offering help and concern, hugs and attention, it helps them know that this world is a good place and you are not going anywhere. You child may be realizing there are relationships outside of yours and theirs and they are insecure about it. You need to fortify that bond for them. 

It's understandable that you want to teach good behavior but it's the underlying regulation issues going on under the tantrum that need addressing which will bring about better long term behavior with resilience and independence.

Learning Self Regulation is a long, ongoing process and in the learning period, there is a lot of co-regulation that goes on between caregiver and child to help the child learn to control his/her emotions and modify them, or in other words, to deal with the big emotions that come with the ups and downs of life.

This is why I like gentle methods when it comes to sleep.  The temperaments of babies vary and we as caregivers need to modify our responsive to give them the best chance of good mental health and life success.

Tracy Spackman is a Certified Gentle Sleep Coach
www.GetQuietNights.com
https://www.facebook.com/QuietNights
602-524-7610

"Blanket Races" Help Children Sleep Through the Night

I get great Questions on my Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/QuietNights and here is the last one.
Great Question:  Tracy, when can babies sleep without the sleep sack? When is it safe to switch to a blanket? It's starting to resemble spring here and hopefully allow for open windows soon.

My Answer:  Usually around the time they switch to a toddler bed after 2.5 years old or when they can pull the blanket up over themselves on their own after 2. Sleep sacks come in all weights and sizes and prevent babies from getting a leg up to climb out of their cribs as they get more adventurous.

A fun way to teach a child to pull up their blankets is to do "Blanket Races" It's a game I made up. You and your child lay on the floor covered in a blanket. (Each your own blanket) On Your Mark, get set, GO! Kick off the blankets. Mark, get set, GO! Pull them back on. On Your Mark, get set, GO! Kick off the blankets. Mark, get set, GO! Pull them back on.   Repeat.  The Mom or Dad races the child to get the blankets back on the fastest and usually ends in a lot of giggles. This game can help your child develop the muscle memory to pull up their blankets in the night in their sleepy state when they wake up between sleep cycles if they have kicked them off.  Don't do it right before bed at night as it will get you both all riled up.  It's better as an afternoon or morning game.

I need to get someone to make me a video of this blanket race game.  Any takers?  Send your video to me at Tracy@TracySpackman.com
www.GetQuietNights.com  602-524-7610

Early Rising Sun Increases Early Rising Sons and Daughters

Exposing your body to bright light at the same time every morning helps to keep your body clock on the same rhythm so if the spring sun is rising earlier, you may be waking earlier and so is your child.  To help prevent this early rising and help your child sleep through the night you can use this  trick...

Use black out blinds and Blue Tape.  Use blue tape (painter's tape) to tape the blinds to the walls to seal out any cracks of light that slip through the edges.  If you are buying blinds to fit, order them to fit outside the frame. This blocks more light.

Some families get more creative using cardboard or tinfoil to block all the light for a light sensitive sleeper. Even hanging a blanket over the curtains or blinds for an extra layer of darkness may help.

Our Sleep needs are influenced by our Circadian rhythms. Light and other signals (like sound and food) effect our Circadian rhythms.  Using white noise can be a great signal.  It becomes a sleep association and encourages the body to produce Melatonin. (The drowsy hormone) Darkness also increases the Production of Melatonin helping you or your baby sleep.

 Circadian rhythms are regular changes in mental and physical characteristics that occur in the course of a day. (circadian is Latin for "around a day")...Let's get more technical.

 Most circadian rhythms are controlled by the body's biological "clock."  The body's "clock" is called the suprachiasmatic nucleus or SCN and is actually a pair of pinhead-sized brain structures that together contain about 20,000 neurons. The SCN rests in a part of the brain called the hypothalamus, just above the point where the optic nerves cross. Light that reaches photoreceptors in the retina (a tissue at the back of the eye) creates signals that travel along the optic nerve to the SCN.
Signals from the SCN travel to several brain regions, including the pineal gland, which responds to light-induced signals by switching off production of the hormone melatonin. The body's level of melatonin normally increases after darkness falls, making people feel drowsy. The SCN also governs functions that are synchronized with the sleep/wake cycle, including body temperature, hormone secretion, urine production, and changes in blood pressure.

By depriving people of light and other external time cues, scientists have learned that most people's biological clocks work on a 25-hour cycle rather than a 24-hour one. But because sunlight or other bright lights can reset the SCN, our biological cycles normally follow the 24-hour cycle of the sun, rather than our innate cycle. Circadian rhythms can be affected to some degree by almost any kind of external time cue, such as the beeping of your alarm clock, the clatter of a garbage truck, or the timing of your meals. Scientists call external time cues zeitgebers (German for "time givers").
This information can be found here from the NINDS (National Institute of Neurological Disorders...)

If your baby isn't sleeping through the night or is having trouble with early rising, give me a call. I can help you figure out what you need to do to get your baby on track.

Call Tracy Spackman 602-524-7610
www.GetQuietNights.com
https://www.facebook.com/QuietNights
For Consultation Prices go to http://getquietnights.com/schedule-a-consultation/

Tracy Talks about Gentle Sleep Coaching

I thought it would be cool to have a video of me talking about sleep while I was holding a sleeping baby.  So there I am, I had an audience, a video recorder, and a sleeping baby with a few talking points all ready to go... And of course the baby work up. LOL! It still worked out. Here is the link.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5f3CxNpdEhk

No special equipment, no special make up (clearly), no editing.  Raw talk about sleep. Real.

I am a Gentle Sleep Coach who teaches moms, dads and families how to get kids to sleep through night. Using gentle methods (not cry it out), evidenced based behavioral science to work with the family and their sleep goals and family dynamic to help them teach their child how to self soothe and sleep through the night. I look at the sleep environment, the schedule, the bedtime, the naps, the sleep crutches, the habits, the temperament and the past sleep history. 

Whether you are nursing to sleep, rocking to sleep, holding to sleep, co-sleeping, sleep fighting, I can help you improve your child's sleep and get you your evenings back. Parents need wind down time too. If you aren't getting at least 5.5 hours of sleep (even broken up sleep), you may start showing signs of "crazy". Sleep deprivation skews your perspective, increases anxiety, decreases your body's natural immunity and ability to think clearly and ability to handle stress. 

I have been a gentle sleep coach for over 3 years, I am trained and certified by Kim West the Sleep Lady and spend everyday helping families sleep. This is my full time passion. People have called me a sleep coach, a sleep trainer, a sleep doula, a sleep consultant, a sleep counselor, a sleep guru, a good friend, a miracle worker and worth every penny! 

I work with children 4 months (18 weeks) to 6 years old. These children typically need 10-12 hours of sleep. I have worked with 8 year olds too and I have a special book I make for older children to help them focus on their sleep issues in a healthy way. I have even been able to help some teenagers. (Teenagers need 9 hours of sleep) 

Babies, toddlers and preschoolers greatly benefit from sleeping through the night and if the parents are ready to make a change to help them be successful with sleep, I can help. I can build you a keep co-sleeping plan, a get out of co-sleeping plan, transfer to a crib plan, only coach at mom's house plan, a daycare plan, a single mom plan, a dad does it all plan, a gentle plan, a personalized plan with methods that work. I also give classes, workshops and speak at mom's groups and community organizations. If you need a sleep consultation visit www.GetQuietNights.com and contact me to set it up.

Call me for a free 15 minute sleep consultation.

Tracy Spackman
Certified Gentle Sleep Coach
602-524-7610
www.GetQuietNights.com
www.facebook.com/QuietNights 
@GetQuietNights  on Twitter

A consistent gentle plan usually works but what if it doesn't...

Most people who attempt to improve sleep through sleep coaching just need a solid method and a lot of consistency.  If sleep coaching has been a real challenge and you just can't get there 100%, there may be an underlying problem to investigate. Sometimes as a sleep coach I feel like a detective. Some medical issues that mess up sleep are;

• Low Milk Production-breast milk should be thick and yellowish.  If it's white and thin, there may be a problem if your child always seem to want to nurse and can't sleep long stretches.
• Tongue Tie-This often gets overlooked when it's a simple fix.
• Sensory Processing Issues-An OT (Ocupational Therapy) Assessment can be good for all kids.  Maybe your child perceives the world differently than we do.
• Circadian Rhythm Abnormality-Your body's natural body clock is off  http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23385698
• Melatonin regulation issues-Without the body's natural rising levels of Melatonin in the evening, it is difficult to fall asleep 
• GERD/Reflux-Talk to your Doctor about this and all these issues.
• Allergies-from environment allergies to food sensitivities, when sleeping things tend to feel worse.
• Asthma-a chronic (long-term) lung disease that inflames and narrows the airways
• Anemia-your blood does not carry enough oxygen to the rest of your body. The most common cause of anemia is not having enough iron.
• ADHD-sometimes is misdiagnosed and is actually a sleep issue but most ADHD also have sleep issues.
• Restless legs-also can be the result of low iron and Apnea.
• Night Terrors-There may not be anything you can do about this other than keep your child safe and calm.
• Seizures-There are tons of types of Seizures.
• Apnea-narrow or blocking of the airways that will wake you up if you can breathe-a startling way to wake.
• Anxiety-With this, Cry it out is not the way to go.
• Medications that are stimulants-of course this will make a difference, talk about the timing of dosage with your doctor.

I usually find that a consistent and gentle behavioral modification method works for most families and there is no underlying condition but if things still seem not right, this is where you start looking. Sometimes I see red flags in your sleep history and we can address it sooner rather than later but it helps to book a consultation with your Medical Doctor or Natrualpathic Dr just to discuss sleep. There often isn't enough time to add sleep to the list of things to discuss at a normal well child visit.
50% of pediatricians do not ask about and/or screen for sleep issues. A gentle method is the best place to start and then we go from there... Call me if you need help. 602-524-7610  www.GetQuietNights.com