Tired one Minute, Ready to Play the Next! What's with that?

 Is your baby tired one minute, ready to play the next! 

What's up with that?    

                                      

Congratulations, You have just missed the sleep window.  This blue eyed baby had these two pictures taken just a minute a part.  She is 6 months old and she is very alert.  It is hard to catch her sleep window because her overtired state (Cortisol Rush) comes right on the heels of Yawning and Eye rubbing, or in other words, the obvious tired signs. It's just not fair!  One minute you see that she's tired, then she is ready to play again. 

Here's what you can do.  

First, try to catch the early tired signs.  

Do you know what those are?

I ran a pole in my "Sleep Sisters-Get Quiet Nights"  Facebook group of Early Tired Signs that the mom's had observed in their babies. 

They Mentioned:

Zoning out

Staring off into space

Disinterest

Disengaging

Glassy eyes

Blinking more slowly

Clumsy (Toddlers)

Scrunching up their face

Clenching their fists

Grunting or Grizzing

Laying their head on the floor

Crawling over for a hug

Putting their head on mom's shoulder

Pulling Ears or Hair

Red Around the eyes or eyebrows (this can be an early or a late sign)

Hands get warm (this was the first time I had heard of this unique sleep cue) 

Early Tired signs can be VERY hard to catch. They are more subtle and may only last for a moment. If you see an early tired sign, put your baby to bed even if it only lasts a minute and your baby seems happy to keep playing and stay up.  Your baby has entered the sleep window and you just saw the opening act.  The closing act (yawing and eye rubbing) you want to happen after her head is on the mattress if you have an Alert baby like this one.  

If you can not see the early tired signs, no matter how hard you try, that does NOT mean that you aren't a good mom.  That happens all the time.  Especially if you have an alert, smart, spirited baby.  That would be like feeling guilty for not knowing what every cry means.  Tired, Hungry, Overstimulated, Poopy, Bored, etc.  (Oh wait, you do feel guilty about that?)  No need to feel guilty about that.  Throw that guilt out the window.  Many babies don't have the range of crying for all the different things, and mom's may not have the sensitive hearing it takes to distinguish the cries or the life experience to tell the difference.  Not your fault.  Your effort is enough.  Here is a cheat sheet for Fussy Signs you can't Identify.  Print it out and stick it to your refrigerator. 

A Sleep Deprived Parent's Cheat Sheet for Guessing 

Why She's Crying

So here is a trick to help you figure out the sleep window when early sleep cues are not obvious. 

Make a timeline of your sleep. 

• Wake up time. 
• Early tired signs (See the above list)
• Late tired signs. (Yawning, eye rubbing) 
• Cortisol rush (Burst of Energy)

Now figure out how long your wakeful window is. And How long your sleep window is. If you can't figure out how long your wakeful window is, look at the time difference between wake up and cortisol rush. Now subtract 15 minutes from that time. That's how long your wakeful window is. That's when you should have been seeing early tired signs. It can be hard to see those early tired signs. Especially with alert children.

For babies 6-9 months the wakeful windows are often 2 hours long so naps are 2 hours apart. We call this a 2-2-2-2 schedule. The 2 represents a wakeful window. 

For babies 9-18 months the wakeful windows are more like 2-3-4. Wake up, then two hours of wakefulness. Have a nap then three hours of wakefulness. Then have an afternoon nap and then 4 hours of awake time, then it's bedtime. 

I call this a 2-3-4 schedule. 

For toddlers 17 months to 2 years old, the first nap gets dropped and it's more of a 6-4 schedule. Wake up, awake for 6 hours, then nap. Then up to 4 hours and then it's bedtime. 

For toddlers over 2 years old, the wakeful windows are much less predictable so watch for the early tired signs. 

Remember, It's your effort and responsiveness that makes you a good parent.  Not the number of perfect days you have. 

Tracy Spackman is Certified Gentle Sleep Coach

www.GetQuietNights.com

602-524-7610

6 Things That Cause Early Rising

Early Rising is one of the most frustrating parts of  Baby and Toddler Sleeping Issues.  You have put great effort into helping your child learn sleep skills and even though they are generally sleeping through the night, the early rising is slowly killing you. (I'm being just a little dramatic)

Early Rising is when the baby or toddler wakes and can't get back to sleep well before you are ready to wake up and start your day.  More technically, it's likely before 6am.  The body's sleep cycles are different in those early hours and it's harder to get back to sleep anyway.

Here are the things that typically cause Early Rising and once you have identified the cause, you can work on the solution.

      1.   Lack of day sleep.  Your child's body has a period of time it can stay awake and when she runs out of energy, she has a sleep window.  If she is not falling asleep by the end of the sleep window, her body produces a hormone called cortisol.  This is the stress hormone.  The fight or flight hormone reaction.  It gives you an adrenaline like burst of energy.  It's hard to go to sleep for her nap with that pumping through her system and it stays in your system for a while, messing with naps and night sleep.  Often causing early rising.

2.  Too late bedtime.  Similar to Lack of day sleep, missing your bedtime sleep window also causes a rush of cortisol and its residual affect can cause early rising.

3.   Lack of sleep skills from going to bed too drowsy at bedtime. If you used a sleep crutch at bedtime, like rocking or nursing or holding to sleep, your baby didn't get the practice relaxing their body falling asleep.  She will wake between sleep cycles, that's normal but she will need you to help her fall back to sleep, especially when falling back to sleep is the hardest in the early morning hours.

4.  Lack of skills from being put to bed asleep.  If you hold or rock or nurse your baby to sleep, they are in a different place when she wakes up between sleep cycles and needs you to help her fall back to sleep.  Again, she has insufficient sleep skills.  She may get more cortisol in the night from waking and needing help and by the early morning hours, just can't get back to sleep.

5. Tummy discomfort from food issues.  If your baby had a food sensitivity or is having a negative digestive reaction to a new food, that can often manifest in the early hours when sleep is more difficult.  Have you ever woken from a bad headache or a tummy ache? It's in the early hours that it wakes you over and over again.  At least you can mostly go back to sleep. And as an adult, you likely have pretty good sleep skills. It's a rough time. 

6.   Developmental milestones like crawling and walking. These are major skills that require brain and muscle changes.  When your baby is working on a new skill, they want to practice this new skill when they wake up between sleep cycles. It's a very exciting time.  The sooner she masters the skill, the sooner her sleep can get back on track.

  

Tracy Spackman is a Certified Gentle Sleep Coach.  

Call her if you need sleep help.

www.GetQuietNights.com

602-524-7610