4-6 months and night wakings increasing?

What is going on with the waking?  Is the 4 month sleep regression a trick to humble us mothers?Here's some science. (Knowledge gives patience, a sleep plan gives power.)

At 4 months, the brain goes through a major milestone where the vision changes, the baby can see farther away and therefore notices so much more. Their world has just opened up! Also, sleep is now a learned skill. Before this brain change, sleep ability was more innate. He could do long stretches at night or he woke frequently. Now the relaxation process that brings on sleep needs to be learned and for alert babies, it's tough. Alert babies notice more, are more observant, may be more social or more intently watching and often know what they want and hold out until they get it. It's not bad, he's just smart.  Lots going on in that little brain. So it's normal for night wakings to increase. Sleep cycle transitions cause partial and full arousals that need help (nursing or replugging a paci or holding or rocking) or sleep skills to get through. 

At 6 months there is a major growth spurt that often needs more night feelings. He is genuinely hungry. 

So all this is normal and with all your responding, you are a great mother! You can wait to see if it fixes on its own (probably not if he's alert but maybe) or you can take gentle steps to help your child learn sleep skills now or soon. The self soothing learning process is a 5 year process and night time separation is just part of it. At 6 months, taking it slow and gentle is better for infant mental health than "Cry it out". Many moms don't feel comfortable with Crying it out I don't like "Cry it out" either.  It all starts with bedtime and many daytime variables. Environment, nap timing, bedtime timing, bedtime routines and bedtime sleep crutches. So there may be lots of little things you can do that will make a difference or some big changes at bedtime and how you respond to night waking could help. You don't have to take out all your night feedings to have better sleep but responding to waking with feeding is a piece that can be adjusted with Dream Feeds along with a gentle response method could make it more manageable for you. There is a lot that goes into this. 

I just gave a class to 5 families yesterday and it took 2 hours to go over all the sleep pieces to cover everyone's situations. (Babies ranging from 5-18 months)  The solution to frequent night waking may not be a short Facebook answer or a few paragrsphs in a blog post. 

Waiting it out and responding consistently to see if it settles back into good sleep is totally fine if you are coping well with the wake ups. He is still young and nothing is urgent unless you are getting sleep deprived. Or you can develope a gentle plan to make changes and help him learn sleep skills. Write down your plan so you can be consistant. You can't teach sleep skills. You CAN put him in a situation where his body will go through the natural learning process of learning some self regulation while you offer support and co-regulation to help. Stay at his bed side. Pick ups. The right bedtime, enough day sleep. Secure attachment. They are all pieces to this sleep puzzle. 

Call me if you need help making a plan. 

Tracy Spackman is a certified gentle sleep coach. 602-524-7610

www.GetQuietNights.com

What's with the 4 month sleep Regression?!

 Many babies increase their waking at night around the 4 the month.  They seem more distracted and sleep goes out the window.

There is tons of brain development going on in their little head. 

The vision changes. Your baby can now see farther away and with all the added detail to her world,  she is more perceptive and therefore more distracted.  

Sleep falls apart and naps are hard to get and often feeding is harder as she is more easily distracted.  

This is when the baby is ready to lean sleep skills. Previous to this, sleep is innate. Either she can do it or she can’t. Sleep self soothing is a learned skill. This skill enables her to relax and organize  her body to sleep when she is tired and it also helps her to better manage her emotions when in stressful situations. This doesn't mean you have to jump into sleep coaching, many parents wait until after 6 months, hoping it will get better all on it's own.  Sometimes it does.  It's all about temperament.

Many parents tell me their child’s temper tantrums stop and their child is more even tempered once they are able to sleep without a sleep crutch. So, your child is reaching this time. It’s very exciting and frustrating at the same time. If you want to do sleep training, it’s still a good idea to wait until 6 months if you are going to follow a book. If you need better sleep now, that’s where I can help. To do something gentle like I do, your baby still needs to be at least 18 weeks old and at least 2 weeks into the more distracted phase of the 4 month sleep regression and you would want to maintain appropriate night feedings as part of your plan. 

Until you have a plan in place that you feel confident in and can be consistent about, keep doing what ever crutch gets you both as much sleep as possible. Swings, nursing, co-sleeping, rocking etc. these are blessings until you are ready for change. Please check out my website www.GetQuietNights.com and read the success stories of parents going through what you are going through.  I have recommended books and a blog on there too. 

I wish someone has explained it to me when my babies were that age.

For sleep consultations, visit www.GetQuietNights.com

Tracy Spackman is a certified gentle sleep coach. That means she will teach you how to help your child sleep through the night without doing Cry It Out.

Free 15 min sleep assessments. Call 602-524-7610

How do you improve naps in 4-5 month old babies?

How do you improve naps in 4-5 month old babies?  (If I don't hold him, he won't sleep.)

Getting enough day sleep any way possible  is the building block for night time sleep and sleep skills. Night time sleep skills is the building block for daytime sleep skills. Especially in alert babies. Maximize day sleep by using your sleep crutch blessings. Work on night skills if your baby is ready and then work in nap skills. 

Do people describe your baby as "bright eyed", curious, observant, social, aware? If so then his alert temperament likely means he has an active mind and has a hard time shutting if off to sleep. It also means he is probably very smart. I have 5 of these alert children. They are very fun as they grow up but sleep is a real challenge at first. 

Learning to self-regulate (manage stress like going to sleep without mom) is much more difficult for alert temperaments and he needs you to help him. If he is over 18 weeks, was born full term, is heathy and you have seen an increase in his perceptiveness for over 2 weeks, then you can gently do some sleep shaping to begin working on night skills but take it slow. Usually, once the nights get to using less crutches, the naps get easier.  

Gentle sleep Tip for immediate results: Catch the sleep window. Doing this for naps prevents the cortisol hormone from complicating things. Cortisol is the hormone the body produces when it is ready for sleep (run out of energy) but not going to sleep. It's a defense mechanism. It feels like the second wind you as an adult get when you stay up later than usual. In fact, that is exactly what it is. 

How do you do it?   Try napping him after 60-90 minutes of wakefulness when you see him staring into space, zoning out, glassy eyes, disinterest. That should happen before yawning and eye rubbing. Pay close attention, it's easy to miss.  If all you see is yawning, take note of the timing interval from the last wake up. Then try for a bit shorter interval next time. So if it's been 1.5 hours since the last wake up when you see him yawn, try watching his body language closely after an hour and 15 minutes next time to see if you notice the earlier sleep cues. Some babies pull their ears, bonk their head against mom or have some other unique but subtle signal.  When you see this, put your baby down to sleep. You may even get a longer crib nap if you have caught the sleep window. Try a swing nap. Motion sleep is better than no sleep.  If notch at still doesn't get you longer naps, keep doing it while you spend some time on removing night crutches.  For some babies, naps just don't get better into 6 months and nights improve. Just be sure to get lots of those 30 min naps. (More than 3.)

If you are happy snuggling or nursing your baby to sleep and/or holding for naps, and you are both bonding, eating enough and getting an adequate amount of sleep, don't let anyone tell you that you have a problem. For young babies, sleep crutches are not a problem. You are a terrific mom taking great care of your baby. 

If you want to talk to me about gentle sleep shaping plans or your baby is older and need a gentle sleep coaching plan and don't want to do cry it out, give me a call. I'm a certified gentle sleep coach. No cry it out. I'm different from other sleep trainers. I'm pro nursing, pro attachment theory, and you can night feed and co sleep or not depending on your family goals. I look at your unique scenario and your unique baby and I will come up with the right gentle plan for your family. And it may not be what you think. I prefer resonsive methods that support the baby's healthy growth and development. 

Contact me for a free 15 minute sleep assessment.

Tracy Spackman  602-524-7610

www.GetQuietNights.com

Post by Quiet Nights Sleep Coaching Services.

What's with the 4 month sleep disaster?

Sleep Question:  Tracy Spackman, my DD was a decent sleeper up until about the 4 ish month stage. Now at 5 months, she has a harder time falling asleep now, and only naps for very short periods during the day, why?

Yes, around the 4 the month, there is tons of brain development. Like the vision changes.  It's actually very exciting for her. Your baby can now see farther away and with all the added detail to her world,  she is more perceptive and therefore more distractable. Think of it as a sleep progression rather than a sleep regression. (Just semantics) Sleep falls apart and wake ups may happen every 1-3 hours, and naps may be hard to get and often feeding is harder as she is more easily distracted.  This is when the baby's sleep is becoming a little more like adult sleep and may be ready or getting close to being ready to lean sleep skills. A little tip to help with the distracted eating is to nurse (or feed in your arms) making eye contact and facing a blank wall away from other distractions.  Put a light blanket over the two of you like a tent if necessary to block stimulation.

That doesn't mean you need to do sleep training now. But some gentle sleep coaching or sleep shaping can help.  Previous to this, sleep is innate. Either she can do it or she can't. Sleep self soothing is a learned skill. This skill enables her to relax and organize  her body to sleep when she is tired and it also helps her to better manage her emotions when in stressful situations. After sleep coaching older children, many parents tell me their child's temper tantrums stop and their child is more even tempered once they are able to sleep without a sleep crutch. So, your child is reaching this time. It's very exciting and frustrating at the same time. If you want to do sleep coaching, it's still a good idea to wait until 6 months if you are going to follow a book.

If you need better sleep NOW, that's where I can help. To do something gentle like I do, your baby still needs to be at least 18 weeks old and at least 2 weeks into the more distracted phase of the 4 month sleep regression and you would want to have appropriate night feedings as part of your plan. Until you have a plan in place that you feel confident in and can be consistent about, keep doing what ever crutch gets you both as much sleep as possible. Swings, nursing, co-sleeping, rocking etc. these are blessings until you are ready for change.  Cry It Out isn't the only option.

Other things you can do right now are:
1.  Catch the sleep window.
2.  Try gentle white noise or rain or fan sounds.
3.  Reduce the stimuli in bed like mobiles and light.
4. Try putting your baby to bed drowsy but awake but this doesn't work for everyone.

You may want to check out my website www.GetQuietNights.com and read the success stories of parents going through what you are going through.  I have recommended books and a blog on there too. And if you are going crazy, call me for a gentle sleep consultation.  I wish someone had explained it to me when my babies were that age.

For sleep consultations, visit www.GetQuietNights.com

Tracy Spackman is a certified gentle sleep coach. That means she will teach you how to help your child sleep through the night without doing Cry It Out. You have gentle options.

Free 15 min sleep assessments. Call 602-524-7610
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