Is Night 1 of Sleep Training always awful? Nope. Check this out.

This was the Night 1 experience related in my Facebook Group "Sleep Sisters" by Christine with her 3 year old after developing a better sleep plan:

"Tracy thank you for your group consult last week!! We did night one tonight with my almost 3 year old and it was one hour beginning to end without one tear!! No attitude either, she actually seemed excited to go to bed in her toddler bed which I couldn't believe! We have done all the prep you mentioned and our family meeting was this morning to talk to her about it more in detail. Tonight she kept putting her new lovey to bed next to her tucking him in, asked for her potty to be put in her room, asked for her night light on (I've got to still get one that's not so bright) . She stayed in bed while I did those. . Then hugged lovey, whispered 'don't leave' to me, then went to sleep on her own while I stayed by the bed.. I'm in disbelief, when I tried this without your steps a few weeks ago she screamed for about an hour while I sat next to her and kicked her feet the whole time, it was awful and stressful to sit next to her like that telling her to go to sleep and having her tantrum over and over.. it's night and day implementing your steps! Thank you again, we will see how night 2 goes tomorrow and if she stays asleep tonight. ..thank you thank you thank you, my husband and I have new-found hope that her sleep issues can be resolved."

Now on to Night 2...

Night 2 has the potential to be worse than night one.  This is called an "Extinction Burst", which is a fancy psychological term for "She is going to test you."  It happens about 50% of the time.  Occasionally it happens sometime in the first 2 weeks.  Half the time it doesn't happen at all.

Good luck Christine!

Tracy Spackman

Certified Gentle Sleep Coach

602-524-7610

Tracy@GetQuietNights.com

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What is gentle sleep training in Nut Shell?

Question:
I want to better understand how sleep training works. Is the core principle in sleep training sending a clear and consistent message regarding sleep to the baby? In other words, is sleep training about doing the same thing every time it’s sleep time in order to set a boundary so that my baby knows what I’m going to do and therefore knows how to behave?

Answer: 

The type of sleep training I teach parents to do is more about understanding the baby's needs, meeting those needs, and then making changes that still meet the needs but undoes the sleep crutches or sleep associations. We do it in such a way that is slow and with as low stress as possible, reading the baby's body language to still meet the needs and keep the infant mental health as the priority.  Once you have a plan that can do that, you need to be consistent with it, (within reason) to help the baby adjust to the new scenarios providing lots of responding.

In a nut shell, you want to help the baby go through the natural learning process that comes with learning sleep skills at an age appropriate level.  There are many variable that help make the process go smoother.  If your baby has an alert temperament, you want to do a method that has more responding in it and avoid Cry it Out (CIO) Methods.  CIO methods can cause an anxiety disorder in some alert babies so you want to be cautious if your method is going to cause too much stress.  It is possible to meet the baby's needs and your needs.  Most of the time, the goals the parents tell me they have are completely possible.  I will be up front with you if they are not.

You can co-sleep or undo co-sleeping and still develop improved sleep skills.  You can crib sleep, floor mattress sleep, nursery sleep or room share. There usually is a gentle sleep training option that fits your family style.

Share your goals with me and see if you would like to work together on a gentle sleep plan. I will coach you and you coach your baby.

Gentle sleep training is generally for ages 6 months to 6 years old. There are special plans for younger babies as early as 18 weeks but we take it really slow and very gently.  Gentle sleep training fosters secure attachment and help to develop independent and happy children.  

Tracy Spackman is the mother of 5 children and is Certified and Extensively Trained as a Gentle Sleep Coach.

Tracy Spackman

Certified Gentle Sleep Coach

Call for a free 15 minute sleep evaluation.

602-524-7610

Check out the website.

www.GetQuietNights.com

Follow my Facebook Page.

https://www.facebook.com/QuietNights

Join my sleep support group.

www.facebook.com/groups/sleepsistersgetquietnights/

Listen to my radio podcasts!

http://bit.ly/1fL7y1O   From July 2013

http://bit.ly/OG6ClD  From March 2014

http://bit.ly/X4QyYI in iTunes Nov 26, 2014

Watch my YouTube Channel videos!

Tracy Spackman talks about being a Gentle Baby Sleep Coach

Sleep talk at Chandler Hospital Feb 2015

5 Things that Keep Your Baby From Sleeping

Is Cry It Out the only option? NO!

There seems to be a lot of pressure on moms to have a quiet, sleeping through the night baby at a very young age. But in fact this is just not normal. It's not about weight, or even weeks, it's about developmental readiness and temperament.

In and around the 4th month of age there is a lot of cognitive development. Some babies may be ready as early as 18 weeks and others need more time to grow and bond. Follow your heart and do what you feel is best for your baby. Bond, nurse, co-sleep, wear, whatever feels safe and right. It doesn't matter what culture, neighbors, sisters or mothers in law say about it.

The range of what a baby can do it very broad. Some babies are naturally good sleepers. Others have a difficult time shutting down their minds to sleep. Talk to your doctor and still listen to your intuition. When he says babies wake a lot at night, he's right. And some babies wake more than others. If you are sleep deprived and going crazy, try motion naps in the stroller, swing or carrier and part of the nights in a swing laid all the way back. Does co-sleeping work for you? Would room sharing help? Be responsive.

Many mom's get repeated advice to just do Cry It Out.  There are many articles and posts about the negative effects of Cry It Out.  If that's just not for you, rest assured,
you have other options.  The No Cry Sleep Solution is a long, slow drawn out, baby step plan that works for many families.  But for some families it's too long.  The Good Night Sleep Tight book by Kim West is great if you have an older baby.  For younger babies, it's too visually stimulating and not responsive enough.  There are methods of camping out where you sleep in your baby's room. Methods of touching and shushing.  Methods of Picking up and putting down.  So many methods.  What is right for you?

I have found that there IS perfect combo of methods that works quickly and easily but definitely takes more effort than Cry It Out.  Where is this book?  It's not written. It's a combo made specifically for you child's temperament and age.  You get that from a gentle sleep coach. That's the advantage of a sleep coach, she will tell you what to do, work with you to find the fastest and most gentle approach, tailored for your child's needs and his parents goals.

 If you are at your wits end and just need a plan, I can help. I may just help you have reasonable expectations or there maybe a few things you can do to help your baby sleep longer stretches until your baby is ready to do more. But if you are fine, keep doing what you are doing. If you don't have a problem with the waking, it's not a problem. I can't believe how fast they grow. Get past the 4 month vision changes and brain development and then see how you are doing. It's so fun when baby can see you from further away. The increased perceptiveness is exciting for your baby and very distracting. So much of the world to see. Get to at least 18 weeks and re-evaluate. If you can hold off until 6 months, even better but I understand if you can't get that far.

If you wonder if you have realistic expectations, I can talk to you about that for free. I speak on that subject regularly at the local moms groups, hospitals and baby stores and on Facebook groups. Let me give you some coping strategies.

Take a few minutes of my time for free. 602-524-7610. Call, text or message me to set up a free 5-15 minute call. I'm here to help. If you know you are ready to make major changes and just want someone to give you step by step instructions that fit with your family goals, book a consultation and we will get you all sleeping in no time.

Tracy Spackman
Certified Gentle Sleep Coach
602-524-7610
www.GetQuietNights.com
https://www.facebook.com/QuietNights

Post by Quiet Nights Sleep Coaching Services.

Is your toddler climbing out of the crib?

Is your toddler climbing out of the crib?  Is he losing sleep and up all nap-time or all night, forcing you to keep bringing him back to bed? Are you thinking of transitioning to a bed instead?

Hold that thought!

The important question is: Is he still younger than 2.5 years?  There is a level of cognitive development needed to comprehend more complex concepts like..."Stay In Bed!"  Most children under 2.5 aren't quite there yet, and so moving them to a toddler bed starts a whole new onslaught of problem with your child getting out of bed and coming to you in the night, or worse yet, wandering around the house in the middle of the night while you are sleeping.

First, try these tips borrowed from some very creative Moms trying to keep their toddlers from climbing out of their cribs.  This is assuming you have already put the mattress on the lowest setting.

1. Dress them in a PJ night shirt that goes all the way to their feet.  This can help prevent them from getting that all-important leg up.

2. Put them in a sleep sack.  That also can help prevent them from getting a leg up.  Some mom's have sewn the bottom to be a little more narrow for added effect.  And yes, they do make sleep sacks in toddler sizes!

3. Sew the legs together of their sleeper.  This makes it extremely hard to get that leg up.

4. Drop the bottom out of your crib altogether to make the rail higher. Fill in the bottom with boards.  Make it secure with screws.  Be sure it is solid and Safe. Don't be afraid to hire a professional carpenter for help with this tip.  I found a blog post about creating a dropped mattress crib modification here.

Or add a piece to the top if that's easier. Here is what another creative family did.

If you are determined to take him from the crib and use a bed instead, and if he continues to get up in the night, you can try a gentle sleep plan.  That still may not give you 100% success of keeping him in bed all night if he just isn't ready.  Putting a tall gate at the door and clearing the room of climbable furniture and distracting toys would be like turning the whole room into one big crib and there, they would be safe all night.

If you have forgone the crib all together and are sleeping on a floor mattress with your child, that works too.

Everyone needs sleep to be healthy and productive.

Tracy Spackman is a gentle sleep coach living in Phoenix, Arizona and she is helping families get better sleep all over the world.  To set up a consultation, go to www.GetQuietNights.com.

Tracy Spackman
www.GetQuietNights.com
602-524-7610
https://www.facebook.com/QuietNights

Are you keeping a log?

Have you ever heard the expression, "Return and Report".   It means to get the job done and then report the progress or completion to your superiors or others who need to know.  This helps us keep track of progress.  We do it for work, health and goals.  It's very important in sleep coaching.

After a few days of sleep coaching, you start to forget what happens in the previous days and it all blends together.  So keep a log.  Then you can see your progress in black and white.  When keeping your log digitally, it's going to get lost unless you label it properly. It's called digital filing and as I was explaining my preference to a Mom I am working with she said, "you are so right, people don't realize how important proper labeling of digital filing is."  I look at a lot of logs and have found a way to keep them all straight. From person to person and from day to day.  Here's the secret.  Label Everything.
Name, age, city (this helps me know what time zone you are in for follow up calls), Night, Step, Date with Day of the Week.
So for example:  Baby Spackman, 7mo, Phoenix, Night 1, Step 1, Tuesday, June 10 2014
Then as you progress, the Night and Step and Date Change and if it goes long, the age adjusts.  This is especially important if your baby is 18 weeks old when you start.  Every week matters.
Title every log this way.  The order of the info can change, just be consistent about it.  Condensed, this log title may be: Baby Spackman, 7mo Phx N1 S1 Tues 6/10/14
The log itself is especially helpful if you keep it like a list. Start with the time and then what happened. Add as many details as you like.
For Example:

4-4:30pm Last nap (30 min)
6:30 in crib (1 pick up, lots of quiet breaks, moderate fussing)
6:50 Asleep

9pm woke up (coached step 1)
9:15 back to sleep

12 Dream Feed (10 min)

3 woke up (2 pick ups, lots of gas)
4 back to sleep

4:30 woke up
4:45 back to sleep
5 woke up
5:20 back to sleep
6 woke up
6:10 back to sleep
7 woke up  DWU (Dramatic Wake Up)  & Nursed.

With your logs, lay look at them in multi-day lists side by side.  Compare the falling asleep times.  Compare how many wake ups and how long.  Compare any early rising.  Where do you see the progress.  Have you gone from 60 min to fall asleep to 10 min to fall asleep?  Have you gone from 6 wake ups to 1?  Have you gone from 5am wake up for the day to 6 am wake up for the day?  These would be signs of progress.

If you need help putting a sleep plan together and want to do a gentle method, give me a call.
Contact me for a Free 15 min sleep assessment.

Tracy Spackman
Certified Gentle Sleep Coach
602-524-7610
www.GetQuietNights.com
https://www.facebook.com/QuietNights
http://getquietnights.com/2014/06/are-you-keeping-a-log/

Post by Quiet Nights Sleep Coaching Services.

Post by Tracy Spackman.