Showing posts with label 9 months. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 9 months. Show all posts

Monday, April 13, 2015

What age can you send kids to put themselves to sleep?



It's always a good idea to take your kids to bed instead of sending your kids to bed. 

I was able to make the switch by the time my older children were at the age 10 or 11 years old. Before that, bringing them to bed was the beginning part of some sweet family rituals that prepare them for life success.

For my 2 youngest boys, I helped them brush their teeth and then we moved on to me reminding them to brush their teeth.  I started reading them stories and now, after tucking them in, they read for a short while until it's lights out time.  If I try sending them to bed, they just play, fool around and make a mess. 

I remember an episode of Super Nanny I happen to see and she told that mom she was not helping the situation. The program showed a video of the mom yelling at the kids to go to bed while she watched TV. Over and over again. Of course the kids didn't listen. Super Nanny suggested she "take" them to bed instead. It's a great suggestion for all of us.

Check ups will still be needed after you pass this milestone but it really is fantastic to send them to bed when they are old enough to do it all themselves but it comes after many years of doing it together.


Tracy Spackman is a Certified Gentle Sleep Coach in Phoenix Arizona.  Join her Gentle Sleep Support Facebook Group Called "Sleep Sister-Get Quiet Nights"


Tracy Spackman

Certified Gentle Sleep Coach

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Is Cry It Out the only option? NO!

There seems to be a lot of pressure on moms to have a quiet, sleeping through the night baby at a very young age. But in fact this is just not normal. It's not about weight, or even weeks, it's about developmental readiness and temperament.

In and around the 4th month of age there is a lot of cognitive development. Some babies may be ready as early as 18 weeks and others need more time to grow and bond. Follow your heart and do what you feel is best for your baby. Bond, nurse, co-sleep, wear, whatever feels safe and right. It doesn't matter what culture, neighbors, sisters or mothers in law say about it.

The range of what a baby can do it very broad. Some babies are naturally good sleepers. Others have a difficult time shutting down their minds to sleep. Talk to your doctor and still listen to your intuition. When he says babies wake a lot at night, he's right. And some babies wake more than others. If you are sleep deprived and going crazy, try motion naps in the stroller, swing or carrier and part of the nights in a swing laid all the way back. Does co-sleeping work for you? Would room sharing help? Be responsive.

Many mom's get repeated advice to just do Cry It Out.  There are many articles and posts about the negative effects of Cry It Out.  If that's just not for you, rest assured,
you have other options.  The No Cry Sleep Solution is a long, slow drawn out, baby step plan that works for many families.  But for some families it's too long.  The Good Night Sleep Tight book by Kim West is great if you have an older baby.  For younger babies, it's too visually stimulating and not responsive enough.  There are methods of camping out where you sleep in your baby's room. Methods of touching and shushing.  Methods of Picking up and putting down.  So many methods.  What is right for you?

I have found that there IS perfect combo of methods that works quickly and easily but definitely takes more effort than Cry It Out.  Where is this book?  It's not written. It's a combo made specifically for you child's temperament and age.  You get that from a gentle sleep coach. That's the advantage of a sleep coach, she will tell you what to do, work with you to find the fastest and most gentle approach, tailored for your child's needs and his parents goals.

 If you are at your wits end and just need a plan, I can help. I may just help you have reasonable expectations or there maybe a few things you can do to help your baby sleep longer stretches until your baby is ready to do more. But if you are fine, keep doing what you are doing. If you don't have a problem with the waking, it's not a problem. I can't believe how fast they grow. Get past the 4 month vision changes and brain development and then see how you are doing. It's so fun when baby can see you from further away. The increased perceptiveness is exciting for your baby and very distracting. So much of the world to see. Get to at least 18 weeks and re-evaluate. If you can hold off until 6 months, even better but I understand if you can't get that far.

If you wonder if you have realistic expectations, I can talk to you about that for free. I speak on that subject regularly at the local moms groups, hospitals and baby stores and on Facebook groups. Let me give you some coping strategies.

Take a few minutes of my time for free. 602-524-7610. Call, text or message me to set up a free 5-15 minute call. I'm here to help. If you know you are ready to make major changes and just want someone to give you step by step instructions that fit with your family goals, book a consultation and we will get you all sleeping in no time.

Tracy Spackman
Certified Gentle Sleep Coach
602-524-7610
www.GetQuietNights.com
https://www.facebook.com/QuietNights

Friday, September 12, 2014

Is Cold Turkey Night Weaning the best option?

Is your baby waking at night because they are hungry? That's the first question.  The second question is, Does your baby need to eat at night?

If your baby is under 6 months old, the answer is PROBABLY! Like the baby in this picture, he needs to eat at night.

If your baby is under 9 months, you should discuss this with your doctor and  your lactation consultant.  Many babies are ready to go all night without eating by 7 months old but each baby is unique and eating is more important than sleeping.  Many mom's choose to do a night feeding past 12 months.  That is just fine.

If you have determined that your baby does not need to eat at night and he is eating out of habit, and you choose to make a change, then you can take gentle steps to wean your baby from night feeding.  

There are 3 common ways to go about night weaning.  One of them is to go cold turkey and just stop feeding them.  This is not my favorite way but it depends on the age of the baby. When you stop feeding at night cold turkey, your baby will still feel hungry.  And he will need extra attention and support as his body gets used to not getting those calories at that time.

Have you ever gone on a diet or changed your own eating patterns?  Let me tell you my potato chip story:  A few years ago, my husband and I would have all 5 of our children in bed by 7 pm. (Sounds heavenly, right? It is!) We would sit down to watch a show we had recorded on the DVR and relax together.  After the show, we would pull out a bag of potato chips (salt n vinegar is our favorite) and eat the whole bag together while we watched another show. (sometimes it was plain ripple chips with homemade sour cream onion dip.)  Well of course, after a few months of doing this stay home daily mini-date, we started to regret the potato chip fat factor.  So we decided to stop.  We heard somewhere that you shouldn't eat after 8pm or something like that.  We stopped cold turkey.  The craving for the potato chips at 9pm was unreal!!  I wanted to get in the car and drive to the store to get some, I craved them so bad.  Ugh.  It was awful.  Was that my body telling me that I needed potato chips?  Should I be listening to my body cravings?  No.  My body doesn't need potato chips. What was happening to us is called a blood sugar spike.  My body was used to getting those calories at that time regularly.  It takes about 3 days to undo a blood sugar spike like that.  And after 3 days of no potato chips at 9pm, I stopped craving them at 9pm.  I never crave them when I'm shopping in the store so I just stopped buying them unless we are having a party.

So if you go cold turkey in taking milk out of your child's night time responses, it takes about 3 days for their blood sugar spike to smooth out. Please be more responsive and attentive if you choose this method.  They are experiencing real feelings of hunger that are uncomfortable.  I know.  I have been there.  A hug, snuggle, your presence, your attention can help support them through the transition. Come when they call for you.

The other ways to wean night feedings are with dream feeds (my favorite method) or with gradual diluting.  Those are a whole other subject for blog posts or consultations.
Every baby's scenario is different and there are no cookie-cutter solutions.  Age, temperament, past sleep experience and bedtime crutches make a difference.  

As a gentle sleep coach, I look at the situation and create a plan unique to that family. Call me if you need help.  Free 15 min initial evaluation.


Tracy Spackman
Certified Gentle Sleep Coach
602-524-7610

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Thursday, June 5, 2014

9 month old success story

9 month old success story:
The baby was waking 4-8 times a night, re-actively co-sleeping in her parents bed, 45 min to get to sleep for naps.  Can you relate?  Here is what mom says,

"Hi Tracy! Just wanted to give you an update. Lina is now on day 8 of sleeping through the night. YAY!!! After we got back from our vacation I spent another two days on step 3, I was really nervous to "move out" but one night i just decided it was time. ... Did our bed time routine Said good night and walked out. And that was it. I haven't had to do another thing. No step 5 or 6. It's amazing how it just fell into place. She is now sleeping from 7-7. She does wake up around 5 usually but wines for a minute or two. Finds a soother and goes right back to sleep on her own. Naps also fell into place easily. I am able to put her down awake. She just lays herself down as soon as the lights are out and goes to sleep. Two naps 9-11:30ish and 2:00-3:30ish. I'm flexible with naps and just wait for sleepy cues. Thank you so much for all your help! I am so grateful. I will be back at work in two weeks so this couldn't have come together at a more perfect time. Lina will be starting with a day home on June 23rd so hopefully she will adjust and fall into a good routine.
 Thank you so much.  ...Changed my life!"
We started half way through May and even with disruptions, we got it all together before she goes back to work.  Mission accomplished.   Lina, Welcome to my Sleeping through the night club!


I am a sleep coach.  I help families all over the world with phone and skype consultations.
Tracy Spackman -Certifed Gentle Sleep Coach - 602-524-7610
www.GetQuietNights.com

Call me to get started.
Free 15 minute Sleep Assessment.
602-524-7610